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The level of self-esteem influences all human actions. Most often, a person’s self-esteem is underestimated, that is, a person’s real capabilities are higher than a person’s ideas about their capabilities. This is usually due to the fact that the formation of self-esteem occurs mainly in childhood, when a person’s capabilities are poorly developed. In addition, a negative environment has a serious influence. Of course, there are cases when a person has inflated self-esteem, but, in my opinion, this is typical only for very young people.

But for adults, the opposite situation is typical - low self-esteem, which is understandable. Personality is formed in childhood and early youth, when a person’s capabilities are, for obvious reasons, seriously limited.

Increasing self-esteem is quite possible, although it is often a rather slow process. However, making a conscious effort to build self-esteem can benefit almost everyone.

How to increase self-esteem and self-confidence? Here are 12 tips to help with this:

1. Stop comparing yourself to other people. There will always be people who have more of something than you, and there will always be people who have less of it than you. If you make comparisons, you will always have too many opponents or opponents in front of you that you cannot surpass.

2. Stop scolding and blaming yourself. You cannot develop a high level of self-esteem if you repeat negative statements about yourself and your abilities. Whether you're talking about your appearance, your career, relationships, financial status, or any other aspect of your life, avoid self-deprecating comments. Correcting your self-esteem is directly related to what you say about yourself.

3. Accept all compliments and congratulations with a “thank you.” When you respond to a compliment with something like “no big deal,” you are deflecting the compliment and simultaneously sending yourself the message that you are not worthy of praise, creating low self-esteem. Therefore, accept praise without belittling your merits.

The world around us is a mirror for every person, reflecting his own inner world. This means that your vision of the world depends on your own feelings, thoughts, beliefs, attitudes, and attitude. Another important component of relationships in society is a person’s self-image, his own assessment of his personality.

The formation of self-esteem is influenced by various factors, among which are upbringing, social environment, and characteristics of professional activity. Oscar Wilde said that self-love means a lifelong romance. And this is true, because an individual feeling of happiness, peace and well-being of a person is possible only with an adequate assessment of oneself as a significant person and acceptance of one’s individuality. To learn how to increase your self-esteem and find specific ways to increase your self-esteem, listen to the advice of a psychologist and try doing exercises aimed at increasing your self-esteem.

How we evaluate ourselves

American psychotherapist K. Rogers, the author of the famous client-centered psychotherapy, believed that the main component of the personality structure is the “Self-concept” - a person’s idea of ​​himself, which is formed in the process of socialization, in other words, in his interaction with society. This process involves the internalization mechanism—the acceptance of other people’s assessments of one’s personality as one’s own—as well as the identification mechanism—the ability to put oneself in the place of another person and thus evaluate one’s personality.

Each person at birth has a personal phenomenal field - an empty space of life experience. In the process of individual development, this field is filled, the person’s personal “I” begins to appear, and his “I-concept” is formed. Rogers believed that the final point of personal development is self-actualization - the realization of all potential possibilities.

Self-esteem is a central component of the “I-concept”, because it is a person’s rational assessment of himself, his capabilities and qualities that provides a real opportunity to achieve his goals. Self-esteem performs a protective and regulatory function, influences relationships with other people, behavior and human development. Self-criticism and demands on oneself depend on it. Self-esteem is the basis of a person’s attitude towards his successes and failures, the choice of goals of a certain level of complexity, which characterizes the level of a person’s aspirations.

We can distinguish specific types of self-esteem, based on its individual characteristics:

• Reality: adequate and inadequate self-esteem (low or high). Adequate self-esteem allows a person to be critical of himself and correctly assess his strengths and capabilities. Inadequate self-esteem manifests itself in overestimating or underestimating one’s strengths and capabilities.
• Time: retrospective, current and prognostic. The first characterizes a person’s assessment of his past experience, the second characterizes his current capabilities, and the last characterizes a person’s opinion about his possible successes or failures.
• Level: high, medium and low. The level of self-esteem itself is not so important, because in different situations and areas of activity self-esteem can be both low and high. For example, a person is competent in the field of finance and has a high level of self-esteem in this area, but he does not know how to manage household chores and rates himself rather low in this matter. A high or low level of self-esteem does not play a key role; first of all, it must be adequate.

The famous American psychologist W. James proposed determining the level of self-esteem using the formula:

Self-esteem = Success/Level of aspirations

Level of aspiration- this is the upper limit of a person’s achievements to which he strives. This may include different types of success: career, personal life, social status, material well-being.

Success is a specific accomplished fact, specific achievements from the list of aspirations of an individual.

Obviously, psychology offers two ways to increase self-esteem:

• reduce the level of claims;
• or increase the efficiency and effectiveness of your own actions.

The level of aspirations is influenced by various successes and failures in a person’s life. If the level of aspirations is adequate, a person sets realistically achievable goals. A person with a high adequate level of aspirations is able to set fairly high goals, knowing that he is able to successfully achieve them. A moderate or average level of aspiration means that a person is able to cope well with tasks of an average level of complexity and does not want to increase his results. A low and even low level of aspirations is typical for a person who is not too ambitious and who sets fairly simple goals. This choice is explained either by low self-esteem or by “social cunning.” Psychology explains the latter as a conscious avoidance of complex tasks and responsible decisions.

Self-esteem is formed in childhood, when a person’s capabilities are in a state of development. It is for this reason that an adult’s self-esteem is often underestimated when actual capabilities are much higher than personal ideas about them. Having understood the features of the formation of self-esteem and its types, it becomes obvious that working with this component of personality means precisely raising self-esteem to an adequate level.

Raising self-esteem is not an easy process, but there are no limits to a person’s capabilities. You will be given effective advice from a psychologist on how to raise your self-esteem, among which you will also find effective exercises.

Tip #1. You shouldn't compare yourself to other people. There will always be people around you who will be worse or better than you in various aspects. Constant comparison will simply lead you into a blind corner, where over time you can not only develop low self-esteem, but also completely lose self-confidence. Remember, you are a unique individual, find your strengths and weaknesses and learn to use them depending on the situation.

Exercises: Write a list of your goals and the positive qualities that will help you achieve those goals. Also create a list of qualities that are a barrier to achieving your goals. This way you will understand that your failures are a consequence of your actions, and your personality has nothing to do with it.

Tip #2. Stop looking for flaws in yourself and scolding yourself. All great people have achieved heights in their field by learning from their own mistakes. The main principle is that a mistake forces you to choose a new strategy of action, increase efficiency, and not give up.

Exercises: Take a piece of paper, colored pencils and draw yourself the way you want to see yourself, with all the attributes of success. You can also come up with and depict a personal symbol of success. Drawing will help you better express your desires and increase your confidence.

Tip #3. Always accept other people's compliments with gratitude. Instead of “no need”, answer “thank you”. With this response, human psychology accepts this assessment of one’s personality, and it becomes its integral attribute.

Exercises: try using special statements (affirmations). Several times during the course of the day (at the beginning of the day, it is necessary) clearly and thoughtfully pronounce the phrases “I am a unique, unique person,” “I can achieve this goal,” “I have all the necessary qualities.”

Tip #4. Change your social circle. Our social environment has a key influence on lowering or increasing self-esteem. Positive people who are able to give constructive criticism, adequately assess your abilities and increase your confidence should become your constant companions. Try to constantly expand your social circle and meet new people.

Tip #5. Live according to your own desires. People who constantly do what others ask of them will never learn how to improve their self-esteem. They are used to following other people's goals, living a life that is not their own. Do what you enjoy. Work where you feel respected and where you can realize your abilities. Try to travel more, make your old dreams come true, don’t be afraid to take risks and experiment.

Exercises: Make a list of your desires and make them realistic goals. Write down step by step what you need to do to achieve these goals and start moving in the chosen direction. You can also create a route for your next trip, make it unusual. If you usually go to the sea, then this time go hiking in the mountains. You may not even be aware of your own capabilities because you have never tried to leave your “comfort zone.”

Having high self-esteem is, of course, good, but achieving it is not so easy. Part of the problem is that this indicator is unstable: one day it can skyrocket, and the next it can drop to nowhere. The situation is even more complicated when we try to evaluate ourselves in specific areas of life (family, sports, work). For example, if dinner is not tasty enough, a chef will be much more upset than a person for whom cooking is not an important aspect of his identity.

It is important to know when to stop: high self-esteem can make a person very vulnerable. He will feel great most of the time, but any criticism will cause a strong reaction. And this greatly inhibits a person’s psychological development.

If you are still very far from such problems and would like to increase your own self-esteem, then follow our advice.

1. Use affirmations correctly

Self-hypnosis formulas are very popular, but they have a significant drawback. They often make people with low self-esteem feel even worse. Why? When self-esteem is low, statements like “I will be a huge success!” strongly contradict a person’s inner beliefs.

Oddly enough, affirmations most often work for people who already have good self-esteem.

But how can you make them work for you if your self-esteem leaves much to be desired? Pronounce more believable formulas. For example, instead of “I will achieve great success!” Tell yourself, “I will try my best until I achieve what I want.”

2. Identify your areas of expertise and develop them

Self-esteem is based on actual achievements in those areas of life that are important to you. If you feel proud of yourself when you cook a delicious dinner, invite guests over often and treat them to something delicious. If you are a good runner, apply for and train for a competition. Determine what areas you are competent in and look for opportunities to highlight them.

3. Learn to accept compliments

People with low self-esteem desperately need compliments, but at the same time do not know how to respond to them correctly.

Accept compliments even if they make you feel awkward.

The best way to avoid the knee-jerk reaction of denying all the good things people say about you is to prepare a simple set of responses and practice saying them automatically every time you receive a compliment. For example, say “Thank you!” or “That’s so nice of you.” Over time, the desire to deny compliments will disappear, and this is a clear indicator that your self-esteem is rising.

4. Stop criticizing yourself, be gentler

If you constantly criticize yourself, your self-esteem becomes even lower. To regain self-esteem, you need to replace criticism with self-compassion.

Every time you are unhappy with yourself, ask yourself what you would say to your best friend in that situation. As a rule, we feel more compassion for our friends than for ourselves. But if you learn to encourage yourself in difficult circumstances, you can avoid lowering your self-esteem due to a critical attitude.

5. Convince yourself of your worth.

The following exercise will help you restore your self-esteem after it has been severely damaged.

Make a list of your qualities that are important in the context of the situation. For example, if you are refused a date, make a list of qualities that will help you create a good relationship in the long term (tolerance, caring, emotionality). If you were unable to get a promotion at work, indicate the traits that make you a valuable employee (responsibility, hard work, creativity). Then select one of the items on the list and briefly explain why you are proud of this quality and why it will be appreciated by others in the future.

Try this exercise once a week or whenever you need a boost to your self-esteem.

Raising self-esteem

How to increase self-esteem for men (women), what is important to know, how to act?

Hello, dear reader! In this article I will give the first recommendations on how to increase self-esteem. You will find even more information on this topic in other articles on the site.

What self-esteem is and how important it is for a person - there is no need to say, this is already clear. And what do you need to raise your self-esteem and make it more stable and independent of external factors, in particular people.

Firstly, a real desire (not just a “wish”, but a firm intention), certain knowledge and 100% responsibility, without which it is impossible to do anything worthwhile in life.

It is important to understand that you cannot destroy something and then build a new one in a few days. With the right approach you can make it faster, but that doesn't mean fast.

Although there is a quick way. This " miracle", which can happen to you, or which you can arrange for yourself. For example, arrange for yourself amnesia. And then form yourself, your views and your self-esteem again, unless your memory returns to you again.

True, I don’t advise anyone to do this." miracle"Besides, self-esteem is not so difficult to change; there are much more difficult things in life, for example, finding and achieving your goal.

How to raise our self-esteem? How to become more confident?

The first thing is important to keep in mind.

Self-esteem may change not only throughout life, but even during the day, and more than once, everything depends on the person, in particular, on his character traits, situation and mood at the moment. I think many of you have noticed how recently you felt good and confident, you thought you could do anything, but some unpleasant event happened (for example, someone said something to you), you got upset, and inner emptiness or even depression immediately appeared.

And the most interesting thing is that all this is quite normal, it happens to everyone, even the most confident people, only in their case, it is not acute (painful) in nature, because they self-sufficient, they value, love themselves and are guided mainly by their own opinion.

Many are sure that you can always be on top, you can always be consistently confident and strive for this state. But this is a big misconception - you cannot always be strong, confident and the best, always be cheerful and positive!

We have different periods: moments of decline and rise, sadness and joy, calm and excitement; only for some this happens less frequently, for others - more often and in sharp, sharp jumps.

Depending on the circumstances, you can feel less confident at any moment, for example, when your plan did not work out or you are faced with completely new circumstances; this is a reality that makes no sense to resist.

Causes of tension, weakness and constant loss of self-esteem

When a person always tries to be strong and confident, but does not feel like that internally, he is in constant anxiety and tension, he drives himself into limits and is forced to constantly control his actions. After all, he believes that he must strive to maintain his status, and he simply cannot relax.

And if suddenly something does not turn out the way he wants (as he expected), if he, in his opinion, shows unacceptable weakness in some words and behavior, then voluntarily or involuntarily he becomes upset, angry and criticizes himself. This takes a lot of energy, his vitality and immediately reduces self-esteem.

Therefore, to begin with, you should not attach too much importance to this fact, a certain decrease in self-esteem is normal, it’s just that today was not your day. We all have those days that we don't want to remember.

And it’s important not to force yourself to always be strong (oh), on top, but you just need to gradually stabilize your self-esteem, learn to live with the state that you have, admit that you may not be in the best mood and allow yourself to be insecure.

This approach makes it possible to fully relax, and when a person is relaxed, he himself becomes calmer and more confident.

The fact and awareness of this is already can help you, give you more freedom, liberate and give you confidence in your actions.

There is another very important point, similar to what was written above. When some unpleasant event happened, someone criticized you, “attacked” you, or maybe they forgot about you (ignored you), treated you with disrespect - and you expected something different and for this reason you experienced unpleasant feelings, and your self-esteem decreased , besides, you might think that it’s your fault, you’re somehow different - do not engage in self-examination and destructive analysis.

The reason may not be in you at all, and even if this is the case, then you will not achieve anything good except pain by digging yourself.

What's happening? Self-esteem has fallen, you are upset and against the backdrop of this bad mood you are trying to understand why this happened, what they did or said wrong. Your mood and self-esteem due to such unpleasant thoughts instantly decreases even more. Think about it, this happens often.

In this situation, it is impossible to draw useful conclusions (for this you need to have good self-control and be), and all this is just an apparent impression that, they say, I will delve into myself, find a solution (some words of justification) and I will feel better.

Here you just need to internally completely reconcile with what happened, leave all self-analysis and boldly move on.

And one of the main reasons why, in principle, you should never engage in self-flagellation and self-examination - this does not in any way reinforce your confidence, but on the contrary, only aggravates your situation and general condition. Why this happens, you can read in the article "", about how stressful thoughts and emotions affect our body.

As for the experience that is important to learn from situations, this must be done calm, cold introspection, without criticizing, without scolding yourself and without imprinting your whole past.

Such self-analysis is not done immediately, but some time after the event, when you have already calmed down, this makes it possible to look at the situation with a sober look. After all, only with a cool head, without unnecessary emotions, in a calm atmosphere, can you draw objective conclusions, and not blame yourself or others.

It’s even better to do it on paper. This way the brain perceives and processes information better, you will see better (more clearly) what is important to you and what is just harmful nonsense.

From the entire analysis, only the very essence is taken, that is, a piece of real experience, a short (laconic) conclusion without any anger or criticism addressed to you, you find and extract a positive conclusion (benefit for yourself), this is real self-analysis and useful, constructive, light criticism.

Many people judge themselves so mercilessly that there is no way to achieve inner peace, confidence and self-love. But is it possible to achieve spiritual harmony through violence and guilt? How can you raise your self-esteem? Think for yourself.

And also, I know very well how tempting it is, despite all the warnings, to continue soul-searching and self-analysis while remaining emotionally shaken, because you want to quickly find a logical solution to calm yourself down, but very often, this does not give anything good, just keep in mind.

Conclusion:

Never engage in self-flagellation and self-examination;

Do introspection when you are calm and better on paper;

Temporary uncertainty and a decline in self-esteem are normal, it happens to everyone, just be calm about it.

Self-esteem and people's influence

It is always important to remember that no assessments of other people should not affect your self-esteem, they can evoke something internally unpleasant or good in you, depending on whether they praise you or criticize you, but this influence should be more like ripples on the surface of water, and not a tsunami that destroys everything. No matter what anyone tells you, learn to treat it with detachment, without unnecessary emotions.

If you have done or said something wrong and you believe that you are wrong, there is no point in dwelling on it, you have already done it, and there is nothing to take back. Over time, you will still have the opportunity to correct something, if necessary, and it is not so important who and what thinks about you, the main thing is how you think about yourself.

Exactly what we ourselves we think about ourselves, the most important thing , that’s why self-esteem is called self-esteem, and not mom-assessment, dad-assessment, colleagues-assessment, etc., let the rest think what they want, it’s their legal right and their problem to think about something.

By the way, most people themselves are fixated on what others think about them - how they look, how they look at them, how they treat them, they think about controlling their behavior, words and facial expressions - and, in essence, they don’t really care up to you, so worry less.

1) Your thoughts and words to yourself

Talk to yourself, your thoughts - your friends, your thoughts should to help you to act, not to harm. And I mean only common sense, and not everything that might come to mind.

We cannot believe everything that we consciously and unconsciously think. Our particular thoughts depend on many circumstances: on mood, general tone and many external and internal factors, and many of them do not even have a hint of any meaning (absurd) and are useless. Pay attention only to positive and constructive thoughts.

The way you talk to yourself is very important.

Try to give yourself good, successful thoughts and talk to yourself like a friend(don’t be afraid, this is not forgiving:), this is a very useful and good thing). Self-esteem is, first of all, attitude towards oneself. Having a good attitude towards yourself, no matter what you do, no matter how bad you act regarding the morals and opinions of others.

What words do you say to yourself? How do you feel? What are your thoughts contributing to?

If you tell yourself: " I won't succeed", " I'm not capable, I can't", "where do I care about that?", "I won’t go and meet her, in case she doesn’t like me"or "I'm a fool, I'm somehow different" - these thoughts are the way Vnowhere. You definitely won't achieve anything with them.

The reality is that if you think you can't succeed, you will. doesn't mean at all that you really won’t succeed, it just means that it may not work out, but it might also work out if you pull yourself together and try hard.

And if it seems to you that they will not understand you, will not appreciate you, and will laugh at you, this does not mean at all that this will happen.

Courage and actions are highly valued by others, even if they are unsuccessful. Reasonable people will see that you are someone who can take action!

2) If you want to have stable self-esteem, don't focus on your failures and shortcomings.

It’s corny, but it’s true, although many people don’t succeed. Failures happen to everyone. Don't get hung up on a thought like this when you're about to do something: " I may not succeed"If you think like that, most likely it will happen, or it will turn out badly.

Thoughts of failure are blocks, which arise in our head as protection against a miss.

But if you are afraid of everything, then what will you achieve? You need to react correctly to such harmful “thought blocks” - just calmly ignore them. It is best to passively observe yourself and everything that is happening around you, without analyzing anything, and just do what you decide (despite the possibility of failure).

A simple word or a few words spoken to yourself helps a lot. For example, this unpleasant thought came to me: " A suddenly I can't do anything at all", answer yourself: " I can do it, I will do it, and let it turn out what happens". Then don’t have a meaningless conversation with yourself that deprives you of confidence. Just do it and see the result.

Don't be afraid to make mistakes.

Only the one who pleases everyone or does nothing makes no mistakes. We all have the right to make mistakes, and we all make mistakes. A mistake is an opportunity to use your bad experience to adjust your actions and do something better in the future. We should not be afraid of mistakes, but of inaction and ignorance of our (desires).

As they say: our success is built on the ruins of our mistakes, and it is impossible to achieve success without making mistakes.

3) Never blame yourself. I repeat, it is important to get rid of feelings of guilt, no matter what thoughts and beliefs interfere with you.

If you have constantly blamed yourself before, this feeling settles inside, in your subconscious).

And it starts working as a background, automatically. You yourself don’t notice how you suddenly begin to feel guilty, sometimes without doing anything wrong.

For example, in your direction they could some suspicions arise those around you, and you about it just a passing thought , a feeling of guilt could immediately arise inside.

Whatever you did wrong or bad, you can draw conclusions for the future, but you don’t need to blame yourself.

4) Don't make excuses. Justification in itself causes negative emotions. When making excuses, you are trying to prove something to someone, already implying that you may be guilty.

But even if you prove something, a sediment will still remain on your soul, and justification, no matter how you look at it, implies guilt. So never make excuses, even if you are guilty, it’s better to just apologize if you are really guilty, and that’s all.

5) Fear. Good protective reaction of the body. It occurs in all people without exception. This is a natural feeling of self-defense. But if fear completely takes over a person, then expect trouble.

6) Learn to accept gratitude. Many, having done a good deed, are embarrassed to accept gratitude, compliments and praise. But it is important to demonstrate to yourself that you are worthy of this gratitude; pride is not arrogance, pride in oneself, one’s successes and actions always increases self-esteem. It nourishes you, and you may unwisely resist it. And if you are praised, it means you deserve it, you need to accept it with dignity.

By avoiding and refusing gratitude, you subconsciously believe that you are not worth it, and unconsciously, from within, you reinforce this unnecessary stiffness and shyness in yourself.

The next time you are praised, maybe you should believe it and be happy for yourself? Yes, it may be unusual for you, but still learn to accept gratitude with dignity.

And as for modesty - this It’s not bad when it’s to the point and alternates with good arrogance.

Praise yourself to your loved one - this is the name of a small but very useful practice that is important to apply. Praise yourself for everything you can, for any simple and useful things.

I made lunch - great, I did well, however, the chicken was burnt - nothing, next time it will turn out better. I washed my underpants - great, I'm just super.

7) If you always or almost all the time, , pay attention to the past, the opinions of friends and family, wanting support and confirmation of the correctness of your decision, then you are already dependent on yourself.

Such dependence on the opinions of others - the presence of self-doubt and self-esteem will not increase you.

And by shifting decisions to others, you relieve yourself of responsibility for possible consequences. Yes, in case of failure, you will have someone to blame and “excuse yourself” with, but if you succeed, you will not be able to feel a “winner” within yourself (which you COULD do), which means you will not increase your confidence in your abilities!

Just try to make not too important decisions to begin with, most importantly, without regard to others.

We thought about it, firmly decided, and that’s it. Even if it is a wrong decision. Just try to ensure that the decision does not harm the people around you. There is a fine line here, but it is necessary to do this in order to feel within yourself that you too can make a decision and have your own real opinion.

8) The level of aspiration also affects self-esteem. If you set yourself too much high goals that cannot be realized in a relatively short time; prolonged unfulfillment can undermine your spirit, disappoint you and lower your self-esteem.

Set high goals and work towards them, but they must be realistically achievable in the near future..

Plan your goals, divide them into parts, having done one thing, move on to another. Having achieved your goal and become more confident and strong internally, set yourself a more significant goal.

9) How to increase self-esteem? Practice in front of a mirror, for both women and men.

True, this exercise is not suitable for everyone. If you feel severe discomfort, and this continues for 3-4 days each time, leave it, it’s just not your thing right now. A different approach will be needed here.

It all depends on the person’s perception and some points that I will no longer describe here.

When performing practice, treat yourself as your holistic “I”, do not focus only on appearance, individual features, some thoughts or internal state. You are all together, one whole, and this is how you need to approach it.

The exercise can help a lot, but it takes time, because here you are programming yourself, your subconscious, and this is not so easy.

It is important to do the practice without straining, calmly and without fuss, without forcing yourself through gritted teeth, to say: “I love myself and.”

You must say this, even if at first not with love and without faith, but with ease for yourself, that is, without tension. It doesn't matter if you don't like something about your appearance.

Repeat these words in front of the mirror for at least two minutes. It is better to do this in the morning, as soon as you get up, and your brain is not completely awake, not loaded with thoughts and is still clean, this will make it easier to accept information.

Smiling slightly, say to yourself: " I love and respect myself in both my successes and failures. I love myself in sickness and in health. I accept myself as I am with all the good and bad that is in me. I respect and love myself. I am a unique person, and I have my own strengths and talents, and there is no one completely similar to me, externally and internally. I respect and love myself regardless of my “shortcomings”. I appreciate and love as I am".

It’s very important here to just calmly tell yourself this, and not look closely at every little thing that you like or don’t like, and not get drawn into all sorts of unpleasant thoughts. You just have to tell yourself that and go.

10) Make a list of what you can do and what you are good at. .

Write everything that is true. Describe in detail your positive qualities (everyone has them), achievements and skills. After writing everything on a piece of paper, read it out loud. Try to read cheerfully and with feeling. If at the end of reading you feel pleasant emotions, then everything worked out, and this is what you should strive for.

You can spend 2-3 minutes on this at least once a day. Take one of your skills and describe it, then read it. The next day (or the day after) describe something else.

11) Take small steps towards what you want. Extra tension and exhaustion are completely useless. You feel that now you don’t want to do anything at all, you want to rest, rest, gain strength and energy.

How to raise self-esteem. Important point!

Don't wait until your self-esteem is stronger to decide on something, act little by little already right now.

The more you do something, the more you decide to take steps that are meaningful to you, the faster you will feel confident, and at the same time everything will begin to work out better and more calmly for you.

Nothing boosts self-esteem (confidence) like - stop self-criticism and take new actions!

Try to do more of what you enjoy. If now you have to go to a job you don’t like, then clearly define for yourself that you are doing this because now it is necessary and it benefits you, provides for your family, etc. That is, formulate a value in order to eliminate (weaken) the negative connotation of the situation, otherwise an unloved job will itself reduce your importance and self-esteem.

If you don’t like the job, you don’t need any drastic changes, continue working, but start looking for something that will be more to your liking, what you would like to do. Doing your favorite thing (hobby) has a very beneficial effect on inner satisfaction, self-esteem and life in general. Make your life more interesting!

I would like to draw your attention to the fact that in the process of working on yourself, pendulums can arise - this is when everything was good, and then suddenly it became bad. Treat such moments as temporary troubles. Just be calm during such periods!

The most difficult thing is to be patient and achieve the first noticeable success, and then it will be easier. As your self-esteem grows, your uniqueness begins to reveal itself, and new perspectives open up. You will be able to take more risks and be less dependent on others.

Finally: how to increase self-esteem?

You may feel anxious anywhere there are people, without realizing why you are so anxious. One of the reasons noted above is judgment. You are afraid of how you are perceived and what others may think of you, this comes from your unstable self-esteem.

Therefore, a small but important piece of advice - do not compare yourself to others and do not judge others. In comparison, you will still lose in something, somewhere, to someone, you are good and unique, so be who you are. Such evaluative thoughts always lead to anxiety and tension.

Do not judge others, because by judging, you consciously and unconsciously evaluate them, which means that within yourself you will always feel that they are evaluating you.

This manifests itself in the so-called mental phenomenon of “Mind Reading,” when you think that you know what other people are thinking about you. Moreover, what you think about yourself, you seem to “transfer” into their head, and it seems to you that this is exactly what they think about you.

By and large, all people have different ways of thinking, and we cannot know what others think about us, we can only guess. But what does it matter, if, for example, you think something bad about someone, he won’t care.

The same is true in your case - there is no point in worrying that someone might think something about you, this cannot in any way affect your success, peace of mind and happiness in general, unless you cheat yourself in some way. then thoughts. Only you can bring yourself to emotional tension, stress and bad mood with your thinking. Remember this.

Having stopped judging people, the anxiety formed on evaluation and judgment will become weaker and weaker, and such thoughts will become less and less.